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Who are YOU listening to?

 I've been reading through the book of Proverbs lately.  

SIDENOTE HISTORY LESSON: Proverbs was written more than likely by Solomon, who was the wisest king in the Bible.  Solomon was the son of David and Bathsheba and you probably remember their relationship because of the whole bathtub thing.  David saw her in the bathtub on the roof of her home (because that's what they did back then? I think that's weird but whatever) and he started a no-no affair with her, had her husband killed in battle, then she got pregnant and God took their first born son as a punishment to David for not listening. So, after all that sadness and redemption, they got together and had Solomon who would become super smart king and write a lot of wisdom.  Which was a long history lesson to get to the point but....

Proverbs has so much wisdom and so many quotes that I love.  It's truly a guide for how to live a righteous life and how to avoid a ton of drama.  Bascially keep your mouth shut, don't start drama, don't lie, etc.  But one of the things I read today really jumped out at me.  

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.  Proverbs 13:20

This is basically a "you are who your friends are" kind of rule.  What a lot of people don't seem to get is that who you hang around with, who you text, who you snap, who you *insert social media verb here* is who you start to become.  There's never going to be a time that this doesn't happen and I don't care how much you think you can avoid it.  Plus the Bible said so.  Keep the company of idiots and you become one.  That was kind of harsh so let me try to be nicer...hang out with meanies and you will be a meanie.

Your language changes, the way you talk to people changes, your text speak changes, your likes slowly merge to their likes...I could go on.  As an adult and a teacher, you see this on the daily.  But I don't really think that you guys believe me when I say you really start to become the people you are around.

So, what do you do about it? Here's my take on how you can make sure that you are keeping the company of the wise.  There are usually about five people that heavily influence your life on any given day.  Most of the time it's like your parents, best friends, boyfriend or girlfriend, maybe an aunt or uncle or cousin, youth pastor...it's probably easy to name the five people you talk to the most.  

List those people out on a sheet of paper or in your Notes app on your phone because paper is so old-fashioned.  Do these people bring wisdom into your life?  Do they speak positives to you?  Is your friendship with them a friendship that when you mess up, they call you on it?  Or if they mess up and you call them out on it, they don't get mad?  Is your talk wholesome with this person?  Do you or they curse a lot when you text or talk? Do they speak ugly about others?  Do you talk about people or life with them?  

So if they bring good stuff to your life, awesome!  Keep that relationship up!  Pray together, pray for them.  But if you think that perhaps your friendship isn't headed where you think it should be, unfriend them and ghost them and never talk again.  Kidding.  Become aware when you talk to that person.  If you want to change, maybe tell them you are trying to be more positive or that cussing isn't what you want to do anymore.  Either that will rub off on your friend or you may just part ways naturally.  But the awareness is heaven-sent.  Literally.  God gives us the discernment of the Holy Spirit to help us make decisions that bring us closer to Him.  Ask Him for help evaluating these friendships.  Ask Him to put people in your life that direct you to the cross, not away from it.  One thing my husband told me once and it stuck with me....if you're standing in a chair, it's a whole lot easier to be pulled down than it is to pull someone up.  And how true that is.

And then lastly, BE THAT FRIEND.  Be the friend that is positive and drama-free.  Be that friend who doesn't use bad language or who doesn't join the gossip chain about what so-and-so is doing on Snapchat.  

If you want wisdom, seek and you will find it.  If you want to make sure you're surrounding yourself with people who don't make you into an absolute moron, evaluate.  If you want to be a person who gets to stay on everyone's five friends...be that person. And that's the real deal.

--- Wilkes


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